Anindita Ghose, Ayeshea Perera and Krish Raghav

Last evening, three Loungers went  to attend the launch of the Penguin Book  of Cocktails at the far flung  (but fancy)  Olive bar and kitchen near the Qutab in Delhi. Since the book is authored by Bhaichand Patel, a former IFS officer who has his own set of Delhi socialite friends, the launch event was much-removed from  regular book launches in the capital that usually have greater proportions of aam junta (journalists, “artists”, JNU students, bored expats and Fulbright scholars).

Getting a drink at this event was hence slightly challenging. For tapas, we were competing with pushy people who almost jumped over passing waiters. Alas, since neither of us are pushy, we left quite hungry.

For the benefit of all, we decided to share our pointers. Since we are vastly different people who work differently, the pointers cover a vast gamut. We hope you will be able to use at least one set if and when the need arises.

Anindita’s:

In most parts of the world, being a young woman is the best thing to be at an open bar. But in Delhi, being an old man ( I learn) works better. Because an old man is more likely to have the power to have the waiter sacked/be a politician/start a brawl. But anyway, here goes:

1) The sweet approach: Smile coyly and look helpless as if not having a drink is causing you major distress.
2) The piggy-back tactic: Harness the power of the aforementioned old powerful man. Make small talk with him and get him to order your drink.
3) The ‘bartender is god’ route: Indulge the overworked bartender and ask him to make you his favourite cocktail. You can totally manipulate the situation by placing restrictions-please make it whiskey-based, no cola, no egg-whites, no pineapples-and end up having the exact drink you want.
4) Play bartenders against each other: “Can you make me what he just made? That looked awesome.”  This has a lower success rate but if it works it ensures a great cocktail.
5) Get bitchy: If none of the above work, randomly start inquiring about the whereabouts of the manager.

Ayeshea’s: (who was paralysed by hunger)

1. Costume yourself: Never ever go straight after work unless you have brought a change of clothes. Especially do not wear a jacket over a kurta. This is tacky and it will not get you food.
2. Strategy is key: Positioning is very important. You do not stand a chance once you are in a space with people who have been to many book launches and are more experienced than you are. Stand on the stairs leading to the venue. Or go snoop around the kitchen with a camera/handycam and “sample” things as you shoot (Even better, be the look out and not a part of the actual shooting).
3. Survival of the fittest: Don’t be polite. People will (and did) grab every item of food on the tray in front of your shocked eyes. They will also cackle while doing it. Think Darwin and GRAB.
4. Act desperate: Simper, giggle and make conversation with the macho Delhi chaps who are positioned in front of the bar if you want a drink. Say things like “Hahahahaa you’ve positioned yourself SO cleverly…hahahahaa I’m putting YOU in charge of MY drink hahahahaha…You strong, handsome…hahahah” (Not the safest of things to do though).

Krish’s:

Four letters. BYOB.